Dealing with the decision to euthanize is tough enough, but when it's a horse there are an awful lot of details to look after. Horses don't go to the vet, often don't live at their owner's homes, are difficult to bury, impractical and expensive to cremate, and so on.
My horse lives at a boarding stable. There are quite a lot of other boarders and it's been difficult to find a quiet half day of the week as many of them do not have 9 to 5 type jobs. Some things should not be witnessed by anyone uninvolved. Euthanizing my horse is one of them.
I think I've worked out the best day of the week, and chosen the week of the month. Now I need to make the appointment with the vet and get the deadstock removal firm's contact details. I have been putting off making the vet appointment, because I don't think I'm going to be able to do so without breaking down. Even though the decision is made, somehow putting a definite date on it makes it more immediate. Time is rushing forward and we are almost into October already.
Call me callous, but the idea of having the deadstock truck pick up my horse afterwards doesn't bother me. I know his essential spirit will be gone, and he won't be needing the physical body anymore. But at the same time I don't want to know the details of the pickup, and I know if anyone at the barn actually witnesses it they will at some point feel compelled to talk about it. It's odd, but the idea of chopping off his tail hair afterwards bothers me more than the deadstock removal. I want to keep his tail to put in a shadow box with his halter, but I get squirmy when I think about cutting it off.
Arranging for the vet is going to be more difficult than just calling. I'm going to have to ensure that they mark it as a private appointment so it's not even mentioned to any other boarder should they call for a vet visit. The clinic is very good at adding clients onto an existing appointment where possible so we can split the call fee. This is one call fee I don't want to split.
Once the vet is set then I need to talk to my barn owner and arrange the deadstock pickup. The barn owner offered to help, to stand in for any part of the process I couldn't do. I will be there for the vet, but I'm not sticking around for the truck. I'll leave the money and get the heck out of there.
Maybe I need to arrange for someone to drive me home...